Author: Kevin Watterson

In defense of television

I came across an article this afternoon entitled “11 Reasons You Should Stop Watching Television Now” that I found pretty dim. An outgrowth of the “I don’t even own a TV” fad I thought was dead, the article isn’t just smug, it’s wrong. Let’s count the ways.

Wasting Time

It’s pretty obvious that when you’re watching TV you’re not doing anything else. Time spent watching television is similar to being asleep (although you will see some other consequences below). The question is whether you want to spend even more time in your precious day asleep.

Oddly enough, the author posting in the “productivity” section of a life hacking website has apparently never heard of second-screening. Thanks to tablets and smartphones you don’t have to sit in front of a television screen like a zombie anymore. Second-screening is productivity. Some might even call it a life hack. Why, here’s a piece in a newspaper all about it, but it’s from someone who actually works in a television network, certainly not the the kind of expert productivity blogger you’d find on a life hacking site.

Missing Out on Social Interaction

Every hour you spend in front of the TV is another hour you’re not making the most of your life. You could be playing with your family, hanging out with friends or doing an activity you enjoy. Connection is one of the basic human needs we all have and it will never be fulfilled by your television set.

If you look to the left of the article you’ll see colorful little buttons with various symbols in them. Those are for sharing on social media. Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and the like. Funny thing about those sites: You can use them while you watch TV, too. I know, right! When you’re watching — and I’m being totally hypothetical here — a show about a tornado full of sharks, you can talk about it on social media and — hold on to your butts — other people will respond. Are you sitting down? THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. 

Allow me to be serious for a moment to say that there is social value in watching television. This article appeared on August 15, an ordinary day in the Gregorian calendar…unless you’re a devoted fan of Lost, then today is 8-15 and you get to talk about it with complete strangers on Twitter. Or next year in Hawaii when you’re celebrating the 10-year anniversary of its debut: lost2014.com My life would be less without these conversations.

So in fact watching television isn’t costing you social interaction. It is actually increasing it in ways we couldn’t have imagined even on September 22, 2004.

I made my name on Twitter tweeting the most partisan political spew you can imagine. It was fun but it was a recipe for very isolated online interaction. I needed to branch out and chose television as one of the ways I would do so.  I tweeted as incessantly about Lost as I did politics and a bizarre thing happened: Democrats responded.  You see, television brought us together to create social interaction where there would otherwise be none. What a concept. But I’m sure our lifehacker’s life doesn’t need such richnesses.

Programming Yourself with Negativity

Just about every television show, from comedies to drama to reality TV and the news, is negative. If you look at almost any TV show there is a complete lack of positive redeeming messages. While there are exceptions to this rule they are few and far between, so choose carefully what you decide to spend your time watching.

Nice opinion, and in many ways it can be true. But in many ways, if television is where you turn for positive redeeming messages you are doing life wrong. There should probably be a hack for that.

TV Poisons Your Belief Systems

In comedies, we laugh at the stupid/overweight/socially awkward/racial stereotype/different people. The news is filled with stories of pain/suffering/disaster/death, and arguing and drama has to be about problems in order to create the drama. All of this is affecting your outlook on life and the way you see the world.

Wow, now that is some serious literary dissection. “Arguing and drama has to be about problems in order to create the drama.” Slow down, buddy, I’m not a computer. Yes that is what drama is about. Next you’ll be telling us to avoid watching the weather because it’s only notable when there’s a storm.

I’m putting the next two together…

It Creates Unrealistic Expectations

Television distorts our understanding of reality. It’s filled with beautiful people doing amazing things and having great adventures every show. Ask any TV or movie star with half a brain and they’ll tell you that the images you see of them on the screen and magazine covers are completely fake.

Careful going after the half-brained now. #mirrors

Feelings of Inadequacy

Life is never going to be like a TV show and this can make people very disillusioned when they compare it with their real life. The messages within television imply on a regular basis that we’re not pretty/smart/funny enough. Our lives can feel quite empty when compared to the perfection of the TV world.

I could not agree more, actually. Television is not real and viewers should never forget that basic fact. Even “reality” television is not real. Despite all the changes brought about by DVRs, online delivery and binge viewing, one foundation of television remains unchanged: It is made to sell. Ads, subscriptions, clicks, merchandise, DVDs. That’s why television exists. Television is not how most women look; it’s not how most men look. It’s not how most crimes are solved. It’s not what being president is like. It’s not the likelihood of surviving a major hull-loss incident. It’s only when your suspension of disbelief transforms into pure ignorance that a television viewer develops unrealistic expectations and feelings of inadequacy.

Subliminal Programming and Advertising

Make no mistake that there is only one reason why television exists, and that is to sell products. No one is producing TV shows because they want to create great art. Every single part of every single TV program is designed to keep you in front of the TV and prepped to buy the advertised products through traditional advertising or product placements.

I already said this.

Television is designed to make you feel bad so you will buy products that make you feel better. It’s the ultimate in mind control systems. Companies figured out how to get us to voluntarily brainwash ourselves for their benefit.

Why do I want an ice cold Coca-Cola all of a sudden? Seriously. Now you’ve added an anti-marketing screed to your arrogance. You live in the real Uptown, don’t you?

It Degrades Your Self Control and Discipline

Thanks to the incredible psychological hooks that television uses, it’s very hard to stop watching it. We lose our self control and cannot turn off the television even though we may want to. As this continues, our self control and discipline decrease even further and the harder the battle becomes.

I think this is what gets thrown in as part of the standard holier-than-thou smugness that comes from people who look down their nose at television. We’re not supposed to turn it on, therefore we cannot bring ourselves to turn it off. Prediction: People who don’t watch TV still masturbate.

The Health Effects of Sitting Down

We now live a more sedentary life than ever before with most people having jobs behind a desk. We compound this problem when we go home and sit down in front of the TV as well, because the electrical activity in our muscles stops when we’re sitting. Research is showing even the most basic movement of walking or moving our bodies in subtle ways can make a big difference to our health.

Ermagerd, I’m gonna furking die. Not sitting down is the new grass-fed beef so it does make sense that the War on Sitting gets included here. Let me guess, you also drive a hybrid, don’t think Chipotle is real Mexican and make your own detergent? If only there was a way to — again I’m being totally hypothetical here — do 10 sit-ups during every commercial break or sneak in some push-ups during a pitching change. Alas, the unfortunate truth remains that once you flip on the tube you are invariably bolted to the couch through your ass. It’s like prison. Comfy, comfy prison.

We Teach Our Children These Habits

Children are now being trained to watch TV and live a sedentary lifestyle. There is a lot of research showing the negative effects on a child’s development due to both inactivity and the influence of television. Your children will imitate your lifestyle. [sic] so any choice you make will be echoed in the generations that follow.

If all your children see is you watching television you’ve got bigger problems. Parenting is hard, maybe you should try a goldfish.

Is It Really Relaxing?

My personal argument for watching TV is that it’s easy. You stop working for the day and get to relax and turn off your brain for a while, but the reality is that what is good for us is hardly ever the best thing.

I also get to relax when I’m out at a kung fu or dance class. I get to relax when I’m hanging out with friends or spending time with my girlfriend. I also get to relax when reading a book, listening to uplifting audio or even watching uplifting videos (like TED talks or educational materials).

OMFG wait…you know kung fu, too! Jeepers! Let me guess, all your chicken is free range and your software is open source. You have a girlfriend?!? You can read?!? YOU LISTEN TO TED TALKS?!? Shit, bro, the Dos Equis guy has nothing on you, my friend! I cannot believe I have been wasting my life away for the past two decades talking with my mom about last week’s The Young and the Restless when I could have been sitting in the corner of a coffee shop with my nose buried in a book and my hand warmed by a free trade frappuchino mocha with non-fat. (Non-fat is still cool, right?)

Our life-hacker closes:

We get one life to live … 

Clever bastard.

…and it’s up to us to make the most of it. Every hour of the day is an investment that pays off right now and in our future. Invest wisely and your life will actually be filled with truly beautiful people doing amazing things and having great adventures.

It’s time to stop watching television and start living instead.

Sorry, I guess my life sucks. Even though what you’ve done here is waste my time, which I could have spent looking for a job, and blasted me with negativity that changed my belief systems in a way that left me feeling very inadequate about myself.

Worst of all, I read it sitting down.

Spoiler Policy

Prompted by a Twitter exchange with @markjwestpfahl this morning I decided to put my spoiler policy into words. Mark and his wife, @jenpioneerpress, just started watching Longmire, and I tweet about it often.

<blockquote><p><a href=”https://twitter.com/kwatt“>@kwatt</a> <a href=”https://twitter.com/wordpressdotcom“>@wordpressdotcom</a> trying. so. hard. not. to. read. this.</p>&mdash; Mark J. Westpfahl (@MarkJWestpfahl) <a href=”https://twitter.com/MarkJWestpfahl/statuses/359345867486007298“>July 22, 2013</a></blockquote>

//ahref=

<blockquote><p><a href=”https://twitter.com/kwatt“>@kwatt</a> I know. We have only seen two episodes in season 1. This is going to be tough.</p>&mdash; Mark J. Westpfahl (@MarkJWestpfahl) <a href=”https://twitter.com/MarkJWestpfahl/statuses/359346629087731712“>July 22, 2013</a></blockquote>

//ahref=

I don’t know if this is where it began, but I first started hearing “spoiler alert” on Lost podcasts. Most of the time it was used jokingly, as in, “When Oceanic 815 crashed on the island – spoiler alert,” for times when what you were about to say really wasn’t a spoiler. It was usually to mock people who claimed to be upset when they would hear something from an episode they hadn’t watched yet.

You see it more commonly in next-day reviews posted online. I have no beef with bloggers who want to put that in their posts. But after giving it some thought even before today, I am not going to. Let me walk thru my policy and explain why.

WHEREAS the rise of DVRs and online viewing means more and more viewers are not watching televisions shows as they air live; and

WHEREAS that is an individual decision no broadcaster, tweeter, Facebooker or blogger can anticipate; and

This is where the policy begins. If you have yet to watch an episode of Game of Thrones, you can’t possibly expect everyone you interact with online to shield you from the red wedding. By the same token, how can a blogger know if his or her readers have seen something? Do you give them a day? A week? A season to catch up? 

WHEREAS most stories are best experienced as a surprise; and

Can anyone argue that a television show or movie is more fun to watch when you know the outcome? 

THEREFORE The Wandering Lostie considers the first live broadcast of a television show to be the public unveiling of its content; and

This is the foundation for any spoiler policy; you have to define a point at which information is no longer considered a spoiler. I chose to take a position that is unassailable: Nothing is a spoiler after it airs.

THEREFORE The Wandering Lostie defines a spoiler as the publishing of content relating to a show or episode before the content has been broadcast; and

The deeper question is if we should define spoiler based on broadcast status or on viewing habits. Defining it based on its broadcast status is definitive. Mistresses airs Monday at 9 p.m. There, done. Defining a spoiler based on viewing habits is, as I established above, virtually impossible. You want to define a spoiler as anything revealed within one day of an episode airing? Why not 18 hours? Two days? I believe in basing policy on concrete information whenever possible, and there is nothing more concrete than the fact that Revenge was on. 

THEREFORE once a show has aired, the discussion or revelation of any content therein is no longer a spoiler; and

THEREFORE The Wandering Lostie is not a spoiler site; an

There are sites that divulge storyline details before they air. If you want that, you can seek it out. 

THEREFORE it is an individual’s responsibility to avoid spoilers; and

Again, no one can account for everyone else’s viewing schedule. The responsibility then has to rely on each of us. If you don’t want to be spoiled on this week’s Bachelorette, stay off the Internet. If you are on Twitter after it airs, you have assumed the risk of a spoiler for yourself and should be ready to accept the potential consequence.

THEREFORE The Wandering Lostie will not issue “Spoiler Alerts” or any such warning in advance of a discussion of content already broadcast; and

THEREFORE complaints from readers regarding discussions of already-broadcast content will be moot.

The spoiler policy is posted as its own page and will remain on the main menu accessible from every page and post within The Wandering Lostie. You are assumed to have read it. 

 

The policy contains further explanation of times when I might label something as a spoiler alert:

Casting news regarding existing characters whose fate is in doubt;

Casting news regarding new characters that may shed light on an existing character’s fate;

Comments from writers, producers, cast or others regarding upcoming episodes or seasons.

Let’s call this The Victoria Grayson Clause. After season one her plane had crashed and her fate was in doubt. Until not too long after when it was clear that Madeleine Stowe was back filming and Victoria’s survival was the worst kept secret on TV. But a worst kept secret is still a spoiler to someone who doesn’t read TV Guide. Here a tender hand is needed. Under The Victoria Grayson Clause I would allow myself to write about her fate with a spoiler alert before it airs.

So there it is. If you can’t watch a show when it airs and don’t want to know what happens, that’s your responsibility.

Even during the Olympics.

Branch Comes Forward

A&E’s Longmire is drawing out the Absaroka County sheriff’s election longer than an actual election. As someone who worked in five election cycles, I can assure you that is a very, very long time.

The race between incumbent Walt Longmire and Deputy Branch Connally was an undercurrent to season one and only rarely the focus. I was happy about that because the last thing I wanted in a summer television show was for it to be all about politics when I was working in politics for real life. While that experience was unique to me, I think the decision to downplay it for the first 10-episode season was a good one. It let the show establish and showcase its main characters without forcing them all into a storyline as formulaic as an election.

But in season two the campaign is assuming center stage. In last week’s “The Great Spirit” Branch was as forward about his desire to be sheriff as he has ever been, and Walt finally let his frustration with it, bubble over in front of his deputies.

The episode opened with Walt learning that Branch called in sick to get out of repossessing homes before an election, only to have Walt hear a delinquent trailer owner drop Branch’s name as a friend. In total Walt fashion, he applied a parking boot instead and called it “Compromise.” When a recovered Branch showed up at a murder scene, Walt went passive-aggressive in a way that any Minnesotan can appreciate.

It’s been hard to pin down whether Branch is a genuine public servant or a slime ball. A major casino builder and Branch’s developer father are bankrolling his campaign, which we are led to believe is blanketing the county with advertising. They expect a return for their support, but Branch the candidate hasn’t always obliged. Would he stand up to them as sheriff? We aren’t really sure.

If how he handled his friend’s repossession is any indication, he may not always make the right decision the first time. He and Walt had their biggest verbal altercation in the office when Walt sent Branch to go act like a sheriff and repossess his friend’s trailer. Branch cut his friend a check to cover his late payment with the implicit insinuation that he would pay it back on Election Day. Later, after the friend still didn’t pay the bank, Branch went back and kicked his ass, proclaiming, “I’m the next sheriff.”

After Walt left his office following another argument, Branch got comfortable in Walt’s chair. Actually, Walt didn’t leave the office just yet. Henry stopped him on his way out the door to let him know the detective investigating his wife’s killer’s murder was in Durant. The two set their stories straight right there in the hallway, and it’s safe to assume Branch heard it. If and how Branch leverages that against Walt will show how badly he wants to be sheriff and answer questions about his integrity.

Who will win the race? It’s hard to see the show’s title character losing, but they’ve shown Branch to be the more active, engaged candidate. I don’t know how they will resolve it. There was a strange occurrence a few weeks back when Branch made a reference to his dad about needing his “coffee” during a discussion about his campaign. At the very end of that episode Walt and his daughter were listening to a tape of his late wife when the camera panned to a box up on a shelf in Walt’s house labeled “tea.” The shot’s meaning wasn’t clear and hasn’t been referenced since, I wonder if it is related to some kind of ace Walt has up his sleeve.

No matter who comes out on top, there will be plenty of stories to tell after the election. As someone who worked through five of them, I can assure you that is when the fun really starts.

Props, Etc

Part 5 of 5

Part 1: Photos

Part 2: Studio Tours

Part 3: Exteriors

Part 4: Sound Stages

Say you sign a deal to film your show with Warner Bros. You’ll need sets. Warner has a full construction shop to build all your interior and exterior sets. Sets are designed and built in the shop, then taken apart and rebuilt on their sound stage. This sounds inefficient, but it is better than having construction crews spread out across the entire lot.

Your sets will need props. Boy, does Warner Bros have props. If the construction shop is like a Menard’s, the props department is the ultimate home furnishings store. It is a very well organized maze of desks, lights, cabinets, utensils and everything else you can possibly imagine that a set might need. Your contract with Warner allows you to use most of what you find, but some pieces cost extra. These props are typically rare or from a famous film, such as these exceedingly expensive lamps.

You’ll probably also need post-production. They have that, too. This is the kind of thing you don’t think about when you’re watching a show or a movie. Most of the dialogue is captured during filming, but maybe a helicopter unexpectedly flew over the set during the take with the best visuals. The actors will head into a studio for Additional Dialogue Recording, or ADR. They’ll repeat their lines and that audio track will be synced with the video. Sometimes on a TV show you’ll notice a line that doesn’t sound like the rest of the conversation, usually from a character who is off screen or has its back to the camera. That’s most likely ADR.

Think about the scene from the Lost pilot when Sawyer shoots the polar bear. Other than the dialogue, most of its audio was not captured on the set. The grass rustling, bear screaming and gun shots were most likely recorded on a foley stage. The music was recorded by a live orchestra on a scoring stage similar to the Eastwood Scoring Stage we got to visit at Warner Bros.  The front of the room features a full-size movie screen to display video for the directors, editors, actors and other technicians who are mixing all of the sound with the video on several editing bays. A simple Google image search for “Eastwood Scoring Stage” will bring up several photos of the room during recording.

They don’t show something neat about the room that you see when it’s not working or doesn’t need a live orchestra: The pool table and the ping pong table. Before things went digital, there would be extended breaks during the editing while someone loaded a new reel of film onto the camera. The people involved in the project would play games to pass the time. Eastwood would often bring in a gym to get his workouts in. Everything streams off servers now and loads instantly, so the tables are more of a nostalgic throwback than anything else.

The last stop on the tour is the Warner Bros. Museum. There’s no photography allowed and security guards are posted everywhere to make sure you don’t photograph or touch anything. The second level is all Harry Potter, meaning I didn’t go up there. The main floor features a lot of costumes and a few props from historic shows and movies and some revolving exhibits that feature pieces from current films. Having seen Man of Steel, the exhibit with the Kent’s mailbox, costumes from Kevin Coster and Diane Lane and the Superman suit was fun to see. Some Batman things were neat, as was the area featuring costumes and novelties from some of Ronald Reagan’s movies. But for me, the coolest thing by far and the highlight of the day was the Fringe exhibit that included the tulip note Walter sent to Peter in the series’ final scene. I loved that scene so much and thought it was the perfect way to close the show, seeing the emotional focal point was very, very cool.

I’ve done Warner Bros. twice now and got to be on the set of ER and Friends, two shows I watched religiously when I was younger. I’ve seen sets and props that my favorite president used during his movie career, two Superman suits, the Fringe tulip, the Growing Pains house, $3 million worth of lamps and so many other cool parts of movies and TV shows I’ve watched. If you’re a fan of a television series or movie and you’d like to see where it is filmed, find out if it shoots at a studio that offers a tour. You’ll enjoy it.

Sound Stages

Part 4 of 5

Part 1: Photos

Part 2: Studio Tours

Part 3: Exteriors

Part 5: Props, Etc

One of the highlights in the long and short tour is going onto the soundstage for an hour long television drama. By go on the soundstage I mean you get to walk on and around the sets. This is very cool. Unfortunately, but understandably, they don’t allow photos. This time my tour got on the set for CBS’s The Mentalist. This screenshot from yawgurt.com shows the office set we got to walk thru.

This, and the hospital set from ER my family got to go on in 2002, look and feel like a real office or a real hospital. As the tour guides explain how scenes are shot you start to get an appreciation for all that goes into making a TV show.

As you can see in the Yawgurt image, the sets are built 360-degrees around. That helps them appear more realistic but limits them to using only one camera. Any more and they would have a hard time avoiding being in another’s shot. How many times do they have to film the same scene with one camera? The tour guides pick out two people and goes thru a simple dialogue scene.

First they set up a shot with both actors. This might involve taking out a window, as it often does in The Mentalist.  All of the windows are built to easily pop out or swivel to accommodate this or times when a window will cause a reflection. The camera films a shot that shows both actors going thru their lines. That’s one. The director says cut, everyone breaks and they reposition the camera over one actor’s shoulder. The actors repeat their lines again. That’s two. They move everything again to shoot over the other actor’s shoulder. Three. Now they have a wide shot and close-ups of both actors saying and reacting to the dialogue. It probably took a few hours.

Now imagine a scene from Criminal Minds when the team is discussing a case as seen in this image. (It doesn’t film at Warner Bros.) Seven actors exchanging lines and reactions around a table. You can see how long that must take for just two or three minutes of screen time. And they’re not even moving! A 42-minute drama takes several days to shoot, and they don’t do it in the order you see in the finished episode. It’s a really cool perspective on what goes into a show that makes you appreciate editors who stitch together scenes shot days apart from multiple angles into one coherent string of footage.

A sitcom is set a little different. Their sets only have three walls so that everything can face the studio audience. Without a fourth wall it is easier to accommodate multiple cameras, so they film from multiple angles at once. With retakes and rewrites a 22-minute sitcom can take 5 hours or more.

Warner Bros’ Stage 16 is one of the tallest in the world at 65 feet and boasts accommodations for 2 million gallons of water. All kinds of famous scenes filmed in Stage 16. For me, the t-rex scenes from Jurassic Park are the most notable. You can see more about Stage 16 and layouts for all of the stages on Warner’s site.