Free yourself from Hostages

Hostages has a great premise: Force a doctor to choose between the president and her family. Will she slip him a fatal poison on the operating table or will she risk her family being killed and let him live? Or will she turn the tables and fight back against their hostage takers?

Who gives a damn. This show is unlikeable.

While most pilots come out swinging with an extended opening sequence, Hostages went for a family sitting on a couch for 38 seconds. KA-POW! No, not ka-pow. Dad looks up and sees a masked man. That’s it. To recap: A show named Hostages opened with a family being held hostage. Therein lies the problem I have with the pilot: It is simply an extended version of everything you knew if you saw the promo. It is not an introduction to what will unfold over its 15-episode season. If that’s what CBS and its writers were intending, they failed big time.

The first time we see Dr. Ellen Sanders as a doctor is in a press conference with the president. He selected her over the chief surgeon from Johns Hopkins to remove a nonmalignant mass from his lung. This is also the first time we the president whose fate Sanders will determine in the face of danger to her family. Instead of making him a character, Paul Kincaid is meaningless but for holding the title of President of the United States. Because this is television I don’t have to care about whether he lives or dies, but I was surprised and disappointed to see the show not even try to make me care.

The night before the surgery, a traitorous FBI agent leads a team of ninjas onto the Sanders’ unguarded property. As the hostage-taking unfolds we start to see cracks in their all-American family. Her husband is having an affair, her daughter is secretly pregnant and her son is dealing weed. They are not the Seavers. They are two brats, a jerk and a working mom. We have no reason to hope the crisis draws them together. Hostages needs viewers to hope the family does exactly that because, like with the anonymous president, the show’s drama relies on it. If I don’t care about the family then I don’t care if the mom kills the president or not. If I don’t care about that, then why am I even watching this show?

For the bad guys to win? FBI Special Agent Duncan Carlisle is no one special. He is just an angry husband whose wife is suffering from cancer. Is he the ringleader of a presidential assassination plot or just a pawn? At first he seems like the ringleader, but when he is revealed to be partnering with someone inside the White House that becomes less clear. I love shows that put viewers in the position of liking the bad guy. Hostages doesn’t even give us that. Carlisle is the kind of loser who in real life might get it in his mind to kill the president only to end up getting arrested on Pennsylvania Avenue.

If I don’t care about the president, or the family, or the bad guys…?

I can get behind a great story. That is the number one reason I watch any television show. But Hostages passed on illuminating any of the things that had to happen leading up to the opening scene. Why did the president insist on this doctor instead of the one his wife mentioned from Johns Hopkins? The political benefit of trusting his life to a woman? Maybe it is something more sinister. His aide, Quentin, is part of the plot, so did he intentionally steer the president in this direction. Why? We don’t know and the show never made any attempt to lay the groundwork for exploring it.

Nor do we know why they want the president dead. Killing the president is a pretty severe obsession, don’t you think? All the pilot gave us was a vague reference to Carlisle’s wife having cancer and wanting to get back to “the way things were.” You can’t skip over the motive in a show about trying to kill the president! It needed to be a major part of the pilot.

We don’t even get to see why Ellen is a great doctor. The president doesn’t just get a binder full of female surgeons to pick from when he needs surgery. Something had to make her stand out. A colleague tells Ellen she is a rockstar who was picked because she is the best, not because she is a woman. Not good enough. We need to actually see her being a great doctor. How hard would that have been? A basic doctor-performs-a-miracle scene is the staple of television staples. Hostages couldn’t even give us that much.

Throw me a bone, reel me in, give me just one hint that there is a bigger story here! I want to like it!

But I can’t. This show is arrogant. It throws you into an opening scene that lasts all of 38 seconds with characters you ultimately cannot like. It expects you to be riveted just because it wants you to be, taking for granted all the storytelling that goes into developing a compelling drama. It asks you to completely overlook the fact that a doctor about to perform surgery on the President of the United States is allowed to just waltz home the night before to a completely unguarded home. It asks you to be dumb.

The worst moment came when Carlisle and his team (who we know absolutely nothing about) took their masks off in the Sanders’ living room. The daughter panics and tells her father that they are more likely to be killed if they see the bad guys’ faces. There’s nothing better than a self-aware television show.

One thing did catch my eye. I’m not sure if it was because it was really there or I was looking so hard that my imagination went into overdrive: Does Dr. Sanders know why she was put in this situation? The way Carlisle calls her by her first name and how she completely breaks down in front of him could suggest these two knew each other before he took her family. Perhaps she was involved with his wife’s care and the whole assassination plot is his way of getting back at her? That could explain why the president received so little attention.

At the very end, does the television news crawl matter when it says, “…corporations are people. Terrorist has cooperated since clandestine guilty plea.” Ultimately, because of all the faults listed above, I just don’t care.

Good pilots surprise you. They tease you and they tantalize you. You don’t want a good pilot to end. When it does you want the next episode right now because it left you craving more. Were you on the edge of your seat when Hostages ended? I wasn’t. Nothing I saw made me want to see another 14 weeks of Doctor Ellen Sanders playing cat and mouse with Duncan Carlyle.

Snap reaction: Sleepy Hollow series premiere

Sleepy Hollow Premiere – Snap Reaction. Typed in real time, unedited.

Teaser:
Yes, the revolutionary soldier with a black mask and an ax.

Car stopped quick.

Hey, the guy from Lost. What was that character’s name? In the Hatch, Desmond killed him. Inman. Kelvin Inman?

Upside down?

Aw why’d you go and ax Inman?

Is this the guy from Flash Forward?

“When I cut off his head.” Not sure I can go for this.

Act One
Can’t help but notice the camera focused on the pyramid on the back of the dollar bill.

Orlando Jones?!?

Crane seems awfully alert and witty for a guy who just woke up after 250 years. Not at all freaked out by a car, for example. “That building used to be a livery stables.” Used to be? He’s adjusted already?

Someone else from the past, a spooky-faced priest, no less, is good.

She tells him a flashlight is like a gun, “Point. Shoot.” so he sticks his finger in front of it and points it at his face.

There is they pyramid eye again, on a gravestone.

Cool. Wizardry!

Terrible camera trick with the priest getting beheaded. What he knows the location of is a new mystery.

At this point I should mention I have no background with the headless horseman story at all. Movie or anything.

Act Two
Another camera angle riding the wheel of a police cruiser. That’s two.

Second time we’ve seen the bird.

Is this on the WB or a major broadcast network with this cop?

Mom is calling. brb

Now liveblogging the phone call.

We’re both watching TV.

Dad is hollering for something. “He must have found some kind of animal.”

“Rabbit sticks? What?”

Been to any ball games? No.

Now they’re mentioning a mouse in The Formerly Yellow Room, which is where I sleep when I’m there. They clam up.

Went to Spencer Fair. They served Minnesota State Fair cups. Say it’s becoming more of a “city people fair.” I take offense.

Making plans for cousin’s wedding.

Job hunt.

Old science teacher won a $50 gift certificate, said I can have it. He doesn’t remember what it is. Restaurant. Said there are three.

Tell them I want The Formerly Yellow Room fumigated. End of call. Back to Sleepy Hollow

Crane is digging into the cop, there’s another storyline.

She’s going to give us a little taste. Probably something about an unsolved crime, like her partner was hinting at earlier in the diner. Four white trees and a voice. Shocking. Drover her sister to “battle demons.” There’s a connection between them now. He can call her Abby.

Oh, the sheriff has some hidden files, eh?

And they’re about witches. And she’s in one with her white tree experience. Local farmer saw the same thing and guess what: Thought it was the four horseman of the apocalypse. Explains his reaction when he saw the headless horseman.

Orlando Jones seems to know more than he’s letting on.

Oh yeah, next shot confirms it. There’s another mystery.

Act Three
Ah, yes. This explanation helps a lot.

That laid out the show in a good, compelling fashion.

I wonder how much people who know and working to silence him will be part of the show. Probably a lot?

I like that “it’s on” now with what the show is about. Being vague would have been annoying. Putting it out this fast indicates to me there’s enough story that they don’t need to drag this stuff out.

Don’t have a good feeling about possibly Flash Forward guy here.

How many times are we going to shoot the man without a head.

What was that about? Did he say that because of the phone conversation he just had or because he knew what the headless horseman wants?

Best act so far.

Act Four
Wow he dug that hole fast.

The horseman is a terrible shot. Probably because he doesn’t have a head.

Whoa cop girl is bad ass!

What’s FF guy up to? Another storyline.

Is FF guy Brooks?

Orlando Jones is cooperative all of a sudden.

Yes, Brooks is.

HOLY HOLY HOLY THE WHAT? I’m not going to sleep tonight.

Great, quote Revelations.

WTF with the Rolling Stones? That totally killed the ending.

Mistresses: With or without Savi?

Why not both?

Alyssa Milano on Mistresses
Photo credit: ABC

As I learn more about television I am surprised at the number of times I read something like this from a writer:

We left one of our main characters in a life-or-death cliffhanger at the end of the season. When we sat down to break the next year we looked at each other and said, “How are we going to get ourselves out of this one?” 

I always assumed shows let their character’s fates hang in the wind for viewers while knowing exactly how they would resolve it. It turns that isn’t always the case.

Enter the season finale of Mistresses. Savi wakes up in the hospital after a serious car accident to learn that her baby survived and her co-worker, Dom, is its father. As Dom confesses his love, she flatlines. Joss, Dom, Harry and April watch helplessly. Doctors rush in. She’s not responding. It does not look good.

Cut to black.

I criticized Revenge for teasing us about Emily getting shot in its season three promo. We all know main characters on primetime dramas don’t die. But watching the end of Mistresses I believed, just for a moment, that the cliffhanger would not be whether she lives or dies, but that she dies. Major.

I was wrong, we don’t know Savi’s fate. Odds overwhelmingly favor her survival. But what if…? How could a show, a surprise summer hit, no less, kill its main character, who is played by its biggest star, and go on?

Maybe like this…

mistressesseasontwoscripts
Mistresses Season 2 Script

Or this…
mistressesseasontwoscripts_p3
mistressesseasontwoscripts_p4

These aren’t real of course, I wrote them and made them look like TV scripts. But they provide a way for Mistresses to let the Savi character die without booting Alyssa Milano from the show. In the first, we see the characters as they were three years ago before they ever made the mistakes they dealt with in season one. At first the jump back in time isn’t clear, but by the time we’re back in the hospital with Savi we know the story moved backwards. The rest of the season two premiere after this would hop back between then and now to show how they handle the immediate aftermath of their friend’s death and set up the story for the rest of the season.

The second one moves Savi’s fate to the end of the episode (you’ll notice how it skips from act one to act five). It could use the acts in between to show a time in their lives when they were all happier before crashing back to the present to see their friend die.

Each one keeps Alyssa Milano in the show, lets her character die and opens the door to new stories. It would be unconventional, but I think it would be fun.

Image credit: ABC

This bridge goes somewhere

I had The Bridge all figured out.

Detective Sonya Cross is weird. Not goofy weird. Borderline psychopath weird. Her world is black and white. There are rules, there is breaking rules. It is against the rules to let an ambulance take a dying man thru a crime scene, so she tells the man’s wife to turn around. She can’t notify a husband of his wife’s death without starting her investigation, asking for his cell phone and about infidelity. She asks him in his own home if he would like a glass of water, multiple times. She thinks this is expressing emotion. She apologizes if she lacked empathy as he kicks her out.

Sonya Cross can’t process other people’s feelings. Her partner’s wife makes her dinner, she tells her it tastes bad. She tells a crying mother her daughter must remain in custody because she is on drugs. Later, when the girl’s father is killed, Cross interrogates her as if she isn’t in shock from seeing her father’s tongue pulled out thru a slit in his throat.

Cross has a sex life but no love life. Late one night she gets dressed, goes to a bar and asks the first man she talks to if he wants to have sex with her. Her style is submissive, as if she is fulfilling a role she thinks she is supposed to play even though she doesn’t understand why. The next morning she walks into the office and matter-of-factly tells her boss, “I had sex last night,” to which he replies in a way that sounded like this is a repeat occurrence. A few days later her conquest shows up at the police station to get her number and she reflexively responds, “I can’t have sex with you here,” right in front of her partner and her boss.

What’s the point of my amateur psycho analysis? I couldn’t understand why The Bridge made her this way. The show has enough mystery and drama to function just fine with its main character being normal. What about the show needed her to exhibit such a bizarre personality?

Then it hit me. The show features Cross and a Mexican detective trying to solve the case of a murder victim placed on the bridge between El Paso and Juarez. Half the body is in Mexico, half in the United States. Their investigation leads to a mission-oriented serial killer. My theory after a couple of episodes was that Cross is the killer. Based on her weirdness I posited she would experience complete psychological breaks and commit these horrible murders without even realizing what she was doing. Imagine Dexter with a split personality.

Under my theory they would investigate deeper and deeper. Nothing would make sense. Then, like a bolt from the blue, her boss would realize what was wrong with this strange young cop he mentored for so long. Talk about a snake in the mail box, what a great twist that would be! It had to be the reason they made her the way she is!

WRONG. Sonya Cross is not the killer. Her personality is the result of her sister being brutally raped and murdered when she was 15. She proves she is capable of emotion sitting in prison with the mentally disabled killer, holding his hand and crying as he draws childlike pictures of her sister with black eyes.

The first time I tried watching The Bridge I didn’t make it 10 minutes. Cross was that annoying. I gave it another shot, though, and I’m glad I did. It’s not a great show, but it’s a very good one. Diane Kruger does an excellent job as Cross and Demián Bichir is enjoyable as her partner from Juarez. Ted Levine plays her completely Texas boss who is mentally ready to retire. Annabeth Gish, who I think is just the best, plays the wife of the dying man in the ambulance. Her story unfolds separately from the murder investigation but it becomes clear that the two storylines will intersect at some point as the show nears the end of its first season.

I used On Demand to catch up with The Bridge’s first 10 episodes. Judging by the ratings I am not alone in watching it on delay. According to The Hollywood Reporter  its most recent episode gained a whopping 67 percent increase of viewers when DVR was taken into account.

With ratings like that, characters that are enjoyable and a good set of storylines, The Bridge is a solid addition to your TV lineup. Its full season is available thru Comcast’s On Demand so you can catch up as it reaches its last three episodes of the season.

Motive and Mistresses

The smash hit band of the summer! 

Actually those are the titles of two shows that aired on ABC over the summer season.

Motive is a Canadian series about two detectives solving murders in Vancouver. There are no standout performances from the cast. It doesn’t have any of the hallmarks you would look for in a great television show. Motive makes its mark in the way it presents its story.

Most whodunnits are about finding the bad guy before it’s too late. Motive gives you the killer and the victim each week in the opening scene. Viewers know this but the detectives don’t, so the show plays a little bit of a game with you. As you watch the detectives try to find the killer you are trying to figure out the killer’s motive, hence the title. I can’t think of any other show I watch that gives you the viewer a different reason to watch the show than the characters within it are experiencing. It draws you in to make you feel like you are solving the case along with them.

Like I said, nothing outstanding from the actors but nothing bad either. The chemistry is good, the dialogue is sharp and the stories are pretty tight. It’s a textbook procedural, so much so that the season finale was indistinguishable from a regular episode. But regular episodes are fun to watch for the different way they are presented. If you have Netflix or Hulu Plus, Motive is a nice simple show you can watch without feeling compelled to watch five more.

Mistresses

When you put four attractive women in a show, call it Mistresses and market it for the sex appeal you are inevitably going to get comparisons with Sex and the City. I would compare them like this: If Sex and the City was about sex, Mistresses is about consequences. Only one of the four sexcapades her way thru the season but it’s rarely gratuitous and always part of exploring her faults. That’s the purpose of sex in Mistresses: It exposes faults.

The premiere episode showed the conflict each of the four would face as their sex lives fail them. Karen slept with a client, Savannah can’t get pregnant, Joss can’t carry on a meaningful relationship and April is getting back into dating after her husband’s death. Unlike SATC they deal with their problems like adults whose decisions hurt other people. It’s a mature show in this way.

There is some good acting, most notably the chemistry between Alyssa Milano and her husband, played by Brett Tucker. Their scenes are the best of the series. It’s good to see Yunjim Kim back on American TV, but her performance is pretty ordinary. Jes Macallan is perfectly cast as Savannah’s sexually liberated sister. Shannyn Sossamon plays her client-turned-girlfriend. I don’t have anything to say about that other than Sossamon’s first child is named Audio Science Clayton.

The season finale appeared ready to go completely off the rails but righted itself in time to end with a cliffhanger that I totally bought. The show definitely earned itself a second season. I have an idea forthcoming as to a great way that could unfold.

What you see with Mistresses is what you get. It less opaque than a show like Longmire. It is more like Motive. You don’t have to put much thought into it to enjoy it. In that way these two shows are perfect for the summer. In the fall or even the spring season they might not make it. When there’s nothing else on, both work just fine.